Saturday, January 18, 2020

Comment Wall

Here is my project:

Microfiction from the Ramayana

Thank you in advance for your feedback. :-)


  1. Hey Laura,
    Wow! Thanks for showing us all what a good start to a storybook looks life! I am excited to see you add even more stories to the collection! Firstly, I really liked the idea of using small stories to tell the story of the Ramayana, and limiting yourself to only 100 words is a great challenge and forces you to get creative! I thought it was especially fitting to include the two cranes story as your first website, which paralleled you and your project nicely to Valmiki's role as an ancient poet. In the second set of stories, I did like the connections back to the main story of the Ramayana. It really helps to expand upon what I read in the main story. The most interesting of those to me was the rape of Rambha, which explained why Ravana couldn't have forced himself on to Rama's wife Sita. I did also notice how you divided the pages between Rama and Ravana, and I liked this because it helped keep the various stories coherent to a larger theme. Good luck and can't wait to see more!

  2. Hi Laura!

    I love that you participate in these assignments because it really gives us an idea of the potential and individual creativity each storybook can have. I really enjoyed the Ramayana so I was excited to see you chose it for your re-telling. I love the layout of the website--having an image by each story makes it easier to distinguish each story.

    As for the writing, I am so impressed by people who can say so much in so few words. You did a wonderful job of only keeping in essential details and choosing words carefully. Anything that might have been confusing was clarified in the introduction or note, which helps each story flow well. Also, my favorite story was "Rama and Hanuman in the Orchard" because it was so powerful and vivid. The reader doesn't even have to know the characters to love a story like that. It felt very much like a fable where you learn something from it.

    I'm excited to read about Sita! She's my favorite character I've read about this semester so I'm looking forward to it!

  3. Hi Laura,
    I can't believe I am just now seeing your storybook! Your website looks so clean and nice! I love the variety of pictures for each story. Since, each story is so short, I feel like I do not get lost and can get through them a lot better. To comment on the present/past question, I like when the present tense is used because it makes the story come more alive and active. With the past tense, it feels as if there is a narrator telling it back!

    I skipped to the Ravana stories because I feel like I didn't understand this character this much when reading the Ramayana. I like the story that described the curse that Ravana had and why he couldn't touch Sita. Some tip for next time you start again next semester, I think it would be cool to find something in your story that you would like to change and ask the audience like how you asked about the verb tense in the Rama chapter.
    I am glad I got to read this!

  4. Hi Laura,

    I am so impressed by your storybook, it makes mine look so bad compared to yours. I like how yours had extra color with all of the pictures that you included, it really gave it an extra touch. I also love how you made them all microfictions, I have written some microfictions of my own and have had so much fun with them. I feel like they're different because so much can be left to the readers imaginations versus a typical story. I feel like you definitely mastered writing 100 word stories! All of your stories were so nice and put together so cleanly. I read the ones about Rama and I like how you included so many mini stories under each category of your Story book. Also, I like how you began by putting Rama first in order to introduce the Ramayana before the other pages in your storybook. I am glad I chose to look at yours!


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